How To Not Be A Jerk This Holiday Season

Hello My Loves!

Drinks Are Fun Though!

Is it just me or does everyone and their mother want to have a Yule/Christmas/holiday party in December? Don't get me wrong, I love getting together and catching up with others as often as possible, but as someone who does not relatively like awkward social situations that usually take place in social settings such as these holiday parties, you tend to meet people you never have before. Given the nature of this holiday where we now give presents to one another in appreciation of knowing your soul, it could be awkward. If you find yourself in one of these types of situations, here's what NOT to do.

1] Do not in any circumstance state you're this all powerful witch. Oh please, do not introduce yourself as the most powerful supreme being in the whole universe. Chances are, you're not. I personally believe this is an insult to the gods whenever someone claims they can perform miracles. Remember when a certain someone did miracles? Yeah, they died. If you do end up doing this, you're going to be talked about negatively behind your back. So just don't.

2] Do not get wasted. Just don't. Having one glass is fine, especially if you're celebrating something at this party but do not plan on getting completely hammered. Depending upon what type of drunk person you are [yep, they're different types] you can potentially have an emotional episode, text your ex that you will regret in the morning, you worse, cause an accident. Just avoid it all together. But if you decide to drink, do me a favor and do not drink and drive.

3] Do not state how Christians stole the Yule holiday from pagans. Yes we all know and yes we do not need you repeating it. This is a happy occasion and a time for giving gifts, sharing laughs, telling stories, not making a crowd angry or upset.

4] Do not get upset if someone did not give you a gift. It's disappointing yes, especially if you bought a gift for them, but gifts are not things to be expected. Gifts are honors; they're surprises and should be respected as such. Perhaps they were on a tight budget or perhaps there are other reasons as to why they did not gift you. But sitting there getting angry over the fact they did not get you anything is not the spirit of any holiday. 

5] Do not claim your presents are better then someone else's. Come on, common etiquette. Also don't take someone else's gift, we are adults.

There probably should be more to this list and I will update it as I see fit. Enjoy your holiday season my dears.

Book Review: Witches In America by Alex Marr

Greetings My Loves!

Today I am going to discuss a review on a book I read a bit ago. If you do not wish to know how this book is writen or what it pertains, feel free to click off of this post but I have a hunch that since it has received numerous reviews and opinions such as those indicated here, here, here and here [along with my personal favorite being this one] then I figured my two cents wouldn't be too much to handle.

Under the Ancient Oaks/Patheos

Upon reading the reviews of this book I decided to form my own opinion on the words within this book. The other reviews I have read about the book are correct when she is describing other people's bodies, which I found to be a little unnecessary, especially when she describes one woman letting go of her problems and Alex describes this woman as obese with her boobs flattening as she twirls around (not quoting Alex's words word by word but am paraphrasing what she states).

“One very obese woman has chosen to go topless: her breasts are so pendulous they hang nearly to her navel, flattened into thick slabs. It is clear she is dancing a word that means something to her. She’s dancing it off, waving her arms , her skin rippling, and her long, frizzed-out hair askew. A large-bodied misfit.” (p. 52)

I do believe Alex was interested in learning about witches however, but she is instantly turned off by anything pagan related except for those of the extreme, such as the two types of groups she tends to study about which is the Feri tradition and the OTO. The vast majority of the pagan community is NOT represented in this book and should not be considered as such. This to me is a tad bit annoying for the soul reason that the 'simple' or 'mundane' way of magickal practice was not worthy enough of her to write about. She constantly states how she wants to be 'wowed' into being a believer in something bigger then herself, which is fine. I get it. You want the proof, in fact we all did at one point or another. But attending regular circles and not finding them 'magickal' enough is a bit absurd. However, she goes into her own experiences, such as her Samhain vision and her breathing techniques, I sense she is trying to understand what she is learning, which I can admire in her writing. And she does try to delve into other styles of paganism, such as the all women's group that I believe to be Dianic but I could be wrong. 

The necromancy chapter was completely unnecessary and unrelated to the whole book in its entirety. I felt it was put in there for a shock value as it was just randomly thrown in there towards the end of the book, being the third to last chapter. Details of that were a bit disturbing and you know, if it had been a common theme in the book, then I probably wouldn't have as much of an issue about the chapter but the randomness of that threw me off. She is constantly switching from stories about her trying to get into the Feri tradition and to understand it and then the next chapter she is experiencing OTO and its initiation/public rituals. The ending as well did upset me too, for I felt there should have been more added into the story. After being initiated into two covens, I am surprised she didn't disclose how she fell out of the traditions. For the Feri one, I do recall her stating she did not feel she belonged there, which is completely fine and she did have a conversation with the woman disclosing her wishes. However with the OTO, she was initiated and then the book ended. You don't get a sense of anything more magickal in her practice after that which makes me wonder if that's also another reason there is so much angst against this novel.

As far as the disclosing of private information, she does list first names or craft names, but discloses on some of them, not all, that she will not share their identities for they did not grant her permission. I do not know anyone involved in this book and had only heard of a few pagan groups mentioned, so I cannot comment whether the information is obscene or not. I could not look up these individuals just by the information in this book alone however. I am not stating that those upset with this book are not unjust in their ratings or opinions, especially since there are so many, and perhaps if I were more involved in this realm I would understand more. I could however, see if you knew these individuals you would be able to pick up who exactly she is talking about without her stating a name and that to me is a bit unsettling. The emails she had shared weren't that extreme to be honest, so I do not understand the whole outrage on that part. One email contained two binding spell techniques, and perhaps that is why people are upset over the emails. The sharing of rituals however, I can understand why they would be upset over her sharing their rituals, initiations, etc. because in a lot of traditions, those things are kept secret for a reason.

So overall I did enjoy her encounter but some things in the book and the way she went about it is a bit disturbing. I do not think she painted paganism, specifically the Feri or OTO traditions in a bad light at all, but she did not conclude if she wished to study paganism more or not towards the end [ I am assuming she didn't based on other reviews and claims ]. This book, according to Alex, was several years of research and experiences in the making, and I felt the ending was really rushed or just came to an abrupt halt. After making pledges to two covens specifically, I can't imagine how they felt about this book.